Mixed emotions

Celebration is in the air. It hangs around me like a early morning fog blanketing the ground and blocking my view of the land around me. I move swiftly through the mist and the world disappears behind me into a void of nothingness.

A good friend was married yesterday. The anti-groom has also become a friend over the last while. A day of celebration and a night of drinking and enjoyment ensued. I feel refreshed and thin at the same time. I feel like my mind is being stretched beyond it's limits at times. I tell myself this is the consquences of the previous night but it seems to go deeper.

I awoke this morning and felt the betrayal of a close friend even though that friend betrayed me with all good intentions and joy for me. The fog hangs thicker than ever before.

I miss her so much. I can only think that once we're together everything in my life will fall into place and purpose will be restored. As it stands life has no meaning without her.