Soon

I sit and stare out into the distance. My mind on her constantly. On a near daily basis we've talked, it has never been enough tho. To touch her face and taste her lips is all i want now. I'm heading back to America this friday to spend 10 days with this woman. This amazing person who makes me feel alive for the first time in a very long time. Who makes me feel a mirade of emotions every time i think of her.

My Friends - Sweeney Todd

Release

The wind blows through the field of gold. Wheat bends and folds in the wind only to spring back towards it's never ending search of the sun. I feel it tickle and brush against my hands as i open them and walk forward. My eyes on the sunset that washes the horizon in colours that seem even more beautiful than any mix of light I've ever seen. You tell me to stop. I obey, still hoping that something will change. That a mistake will be realized and this will all be over. You put your hand on my shoulder and push me to my knees. I don't resist and fall to the ground. I hear the click of a cigarette lighter and hear you light up. You ask if I'd like a puff, I refuse. I want to be clear for what comes next.

I look forward at a cloud. I feel every emotion hit my body. Pain, happiness, anger, joy, sorrow and even love for what I'm seeing. I look skywards and embrace the world with outstretched hands.

Another click. I know the sound that is emitted. I know what it means. The end. I pull in the energy to my body and time slowly begins to catch up to me. I'm released. Free from the bonds of life. I feel no pain as the bullet enters the back of my head and explodes my grey matter as it penetrates my mind. Darkness comes. Nothing.

Waves crash over me. Pushing me down onto the ocean floor. Wanting to smash my body into millions of pieces like it has done with the sand that rushes through my toes. Freezing is the word that comes to mind. Ocean water sent from the south pole to wash against this shore is still very cold as it breaks over me.

I run to the shore but the sudden cold water and stretching of the run don't seem to mix well. My calf muscle rips under the strain and I fall fall to the ground holding my leg in pain. Time passes and yet the pain doesn't disappear, it increases. My short lived holiday is over. I limp back home and see a doctor.

I'm told I've torn the muscle that attaches my aquiles heal to my leg. Two to four weeks I'll be out of action. One to three i know this means. I've always been a fast healer. Every time I've had stitches I've always had to have them removed many days before most people would. With all the problems my body gives me at least it's able to recover.