Reconnecting with the energies around me

I've been feeling distant to the people around me of late. Disconnected from people who i count on as my power base. My mind keeps thinking of what could be and it pains me to think what might not.

I spent the new years with what should be considered my very close friends. Drinks where had and jokes where told. But the warmth and energy I used to feel doesn't seem to exist anymore. I think it's mainly from me. Clouds from my teenage years loom over my head, deep down I want the storm to come just so it passes. Fear of being washed away is all too real. I'm lost. I know the path that lays before me but I can't seem to pick a direction. Instead of making a mistake I procrastinate and loose any hope of choice I think I could have.

I need to find my center again. Maybe i should just jump into the void and see where I land. Terrifying as it seems. I seek guidance but know that I'm the only one who can lead me on this path. Everyone gives directions but none know the way.